Just the roadie...

I can't hear a thing outside. The snow makes it so quiet that everything is hushed in the world when it falls. We ended up with 4 or 5" of new stuff last night. It's not bad but it's not the "real" snow of Western New York. Not even close to the New England snows of coastal Maine where (as Mom puts it) the snow is measured by the foot, not the inch.   I used to love waking up and just staring out the windows at the new snow where I grew up. The imagery of the new mounds of snow on the branches in the woods would mesmerize me for the longest time. I magining the thick brush of the Artist that had painted the earth the night before fascinated me. The silence was almost deafening at times. Even growing up and making snow caves in the drifts was amazing once you got inside (I know, political correctness today says that's a no-no so kids, don't try this at home) . All you could hear was your breathing and heartbeat. Absolute silence - absolu...

I remember, as a kid, scrambling to get off the roller coasters (even that psychotic Jackrabbit @ Seabreeze) just so I could fly back to the end of the line and ride it again. I would consider myself a "purist" as I always went for the wooden coasters.  They made much more noise, threw you around more, and seemed to be closer to the verge of collapse (which would terrify me today).   Age (and wisdom) have overcome this urge to ride the Jackrabbit or the Comet (I miss Crystal Beach) for an extended period of time but it still makes me wonder what it was that caused me to almost have an unhealthy addiction to these monstrosities and the danger and thrill they represented to me.   This I share as I am on another figurative roller coaster ride with the advent of unemployment and the hideous aspects of the job search (which I now would never wish on the vilest of enemies). Back and forth to NY for "potential" interviews, 40 or 50 applications online, in person, via ema...

I saw the hit, turned my head away, and told the Viking faithful next to me, "It's over ". I literally walked out of Bathtub Billy's during the first quarter on Sunday. I don't even know if I can watch this meltdown the rest of the year... Culpepper, a three-time Pro Bowl pick whose effectiveness had fallen off dramatically this year due to several factors, tore his anterior cruciate , medial collateral and posterior cruciate ligaments in Sunday's 38-13 loss at Carolina. " One of the above is bad enough, all three and you'll be lucky to walk correctly again. Yes, I am serious. I've seen it, spent time studying it in college and as a career. My only bright spot is that I know Dante is a warrior who won't settle for "can't".  My prayers are with you, Big D.

A 56 yard FG with 2 seconds on the clock?  And Paul "I could NEVER do that in Chicago" Edinger pulls it off with room to spare! God bless the dome. Yes, my friends, God bless that dome...

Sigh... What a festive week it was... Right now I'd like to be with a bunch of Reunion family and friends in the middle of a chili cook-off. This New York weather is just lousy. I'll just blame it on Wilma.  Timeline... I don't hear from the Chicago job I wrote about by the Friday deadline. I travel to New York to help out my parents for a week and check into some VERY good leads on positions. My gut was just a mess for the whole time I've been considering the Chicago position anyway (would chili be a good idea at this point?!?). I actually made the trip to NY in ten hours with only a half hour stop - in one day - by myself. Not bad at all and I actually felt pretty good in knowing that the position didn't happen for me.  Until I checked my voice mail on Friday night. There it was, the phone call that had been left long after I left to drive to NY saying that the company told the subcontractor they wanted me.  I had to turn it down. Even as I was listening to the v...

I've lived through it (the interview). Thank you Sharee for the "tour" as it helped ease the tension (for those that don't know, Sharee is the CFO @ the company I interviewed with who I would sub-contract under).  Now it looks like it comes down to whether or not it might work financially w/ the sub-contractor.  S.D.I. has one other candidate to interview next week but I should know the decision by next Friday. I need to let the subcontractor know the salary range I can work with so she's prepared.  Big question is do I want to do this for the next 5 years of my life? Is this where God wants me to be? Monday is "follow up" day with all the jobs I already have in the works. Last night I was all fired up to get to NY and just plain start new.  Today I'm too concerned about all the little things again. Sheesh - either I'm bipolar or I  better have more than just coffee and mocha all day long (real food would be a good idea at least once during the ...

I'm writing this half as a prayer and half as record for me to remember…   I'm sitting in a Starbucks @ LaSalle & whatever street is one up from Randolph in downtown Chicago. Trying to get the jitters out while waiting for my 4pm interview for a new job. Just writing is taking some of the edge off but dear God I’m still terrified.  I vacillate between utter (& amazing) calm & incredible uneasiness and fret. God, I know you've got my back (& front & everything else) but why am I so frightened? Do I not trust my skills or abilities? Do I not trust You? Do I not really want to be here? Am I afraid that this is where You'll "put" me?   Maybe that’s it. In my heart of hearts I think I really want to be in NY, w/ family, working to be the best network guy I can while still working w/ kids. Like Steve said, "I have to decide if I REALLY want to come back to NY".   Please God, slow my heart & mind-& help me just to be ...