Yes... No... Maybe so...

Sigh... What a festive week it was... Right now I'd like to be with a bunch of Reunion family and friends in the middle of a chili cook-off. This New York weather is just lousy. I'll just blame it on Wilma. 

Timeline... I don't hear from the Chicago job I wrote about by the Friday deadline. I travel to New York to help out my parents for a week and check into some VERY good leads on positions. My gut was just a mess for the whole time I've been considering the Chicago position anyway (would chili be a good idea at this point?!?). I actually made the trip to NY in ten hours with only a half hour stop - in one day - by myself. Not bad at all and I actually felt pretty good in knowing that the position didn't happen for me. 

Until I checked my voice mail on Friday night. There it was, the phone call that had been left long after I left to drive to NY saying that the company told the subcontractor they wanted me. 

I had to turn it down. Even as I was listening to the voice mail, my stomach was knotting up again. That just confirmed for me that it wasn't the right position. If the money isn't right, the hours aren't right, the location isn't right, your body is rebelling, you still have options, you're still getting a little severance pay, unemployment is available, and you still have health benefits, I agree with my sister when she says there's no emergency calling for me to take the position. 

Of course, everyone I told I wasn't getting the position now gets that info reversed but only to tell them I didn't end up taking it after all. It's weird, I do have a lot of skills that will fit into a number of areas but I need to find out what I love doing and head for that full tilt. 

Rob Bell shares the following advice he was given in his latest book (Velvet Elvis), "Your job is to relentlessly pursue the person that God designed you to be". I think I have that right - I'll check. It's true though, God has designed me with skills and abilities and personality traits and I need to hunger for what He wants me to be above all else. 

I'm pretty sure the right job will come along in the midst of that journey. What Rob Bell shares in cooperation with that thought is tougher. He follows the above with, "Everything else is a sin and needs to be gotten rid of immediately". Okay, now THAT is harsh! 

Everything?

Really?

That part of it is tough to swallow but the more I have thought about it, it really does make sense. It's just going to be really tough. But who made the guarantee that life, and this journey of reckless abandonment was going to be easy?