Day Zero

Today I tried to start making changes. No Twitter, limited Facebook, email or texting, and a lot of quiet. I really enjoyed the quiet. It was a rainy day (drizzle - spit - on again - off again) so that kept noise and traffic down on the street which also helped with the noise.

It was nice while reading to not have distractions. Even now, in the evening quiet I can hear the gentle rain on the awning over the front porch; and in a lot of ways it is incredibly soothing. I'm WAY too easily distracted and not the fastest reader so concentration is pretty important. That's another reason I want to try to "Disengage... Reengage..." for a while. I just need to refocus on some important things.

I've decided to work with the spiritual retreat at the end of The Ragamuffin Gospel. There are only nineteen entries yet I think I can actually do this for almost three weeks. There may be days or entries skipped or combined. We'll have to see.

Toward the end of The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning comes back to the aspect of grace, and how vital grace is to our worth and understanding of God's love for us. God gave everything to win us back and His Son is a constant reminder of that.

Simon Peter and Mary Magdalene are two amazing examples of understanding God's grace. Mary knew first hand the love and forgiveness of Jesus. Her life before she met Him was full of "looking for love in all the wrong places". She KNEW the grace and forgiveness of Christ and never questioned its reality. She was at His feet, at the cross, at the tomb, and with others as Christ appeared to them after He rose from the dead. She knew grace...

Simon Peter walked with Christ nearly every day for the majority of His time teaching and meeting the needs of those around Him. He fell asleep instead of praying, took a wild swing to "protect" Jesus in the garden (which Jesus promptly corrected), cursed His name and denied he even KNEW him as Christ was being brought up on false charges. Yet Mary was told to "go tell the others, AND Peter" that Christ was no longer dead. Peter knew grace, and was able to see Christ go back to heaven on our behalf.

"Long prayers and big words do not suit ragamuffins" writes Manning. Those living by grace and expectant of future grace tend to live by the prayer, "God, be merciful to me, a sinner" (Luke 18:13). Being open to God's grace, and living in it every day, is an act of humbleness and anticipation.

I love the way my friend prays. She prays with an openness and anticipation. Whenever she prays, she lays her palms open and face up in her lap. We've talked about it and it is partially in anticipation of receiving from God, and partially in an attitude of not holding anything from God. In essence, because she knows the gift of grace, she wants to hold nothing from God and receive fully from Him when she talks to Him.

This is an amazing attitude that I have tried to adopt a when I talk to God. It's difficult because there are sometimes too many crooks and crevices where I just don't want God to look. By closing my hands (and heart) to God, I only lose out on what He has for me. I will never fully receive from God unless I open my hands completely to allow Him to pour into my life.

That's my prayer during this time. To really accept and understand God's overwhelming grace. To do so I have to have open hands and an open heart.

I will never have one without the other...